A strong marriage is based on communication, which is based on time spent together. Because the modern day life leaves us with little free time, one of the times when you can spend important moments with your partner is in the evening, before going to sleep. You don’t need much – a couple of minutes are enough to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Psychologists give us some tips on how to maximize the time you have and ensure you get to show your love to your significant other.
Establish a routine
A bedtime routine helps your body prepare for sleep. When you follow the routine with your partner, the bond between you grows stronger. You don’t have to go to extreme lengths to make your own bedtime routine; something simple, like turning off the electronics, dragging the curtains and brushing your teeth is enough.
Put away the phones Smartphone addiction inhibits the release of oxytocin, the hormone which promotes bonding. To be able to fully benefit from the time you have with your partner, close the phone or put it on silent mode, then put it away at 9PM.
Don’t bring your job to the bed When you go to bed, forget about work and your job responsibilities. Resist the temptation to check the phone and reply to work emails by following the previous tip. The time you spend with your partner talking in bed is going to make you productive the next day. Moreover, pillow talk helps you forget about your problems and induces a state of relaxation. Find something pleasant to talk about in bed, in order to connect to your lover and strengthen your bond.
Go to bed at the same time Many couples go to bed at different times, due to a wide range of problems, mostly related to work. Add the fact you rarely see your partner during the day and you have a problem. Go maintain a happy marriage, go to bed at the same time your partner does. Yes, it might be hard, especially if one of you still has work or house chores to do, but it’s worth the effort. Going to bed at the same time strengthens the intimacy and the bond between you and your lover.
No kids and no pets allowed Your bedroom is a space for two, so kids shouldn’t be allowed to sleep with you. This rule is often violated, as it’s hard to resist when your child is asking to jump into your bed. Another cute creature most couples allow in their bed, even if they shouldn’t is their pet. Despite it’s hard to refuse your dog or cat when they jump in the bed, do it. Pets don’t sleep for the entire night and can disturb your sleep. Both pets and kids can lead to fights in bed, so it’s better to just set a rule and stick to it.
Don’t argue before bed This is something many couples do, most of the times unconsciously. Because you meet your partner before going to bed, you are tempted to get into a fight over something that happened over the day. Don’t do this, as arguments before bed ruin your sleep and your relationship. Moreover, you are likely to feel depressed the next day and have a low productivity.
Just chat You don’t have to find solutions to all your problems before going to sleep. In fact, you shouldn’t discuss your problems. Just make sure you pay attention to your partner’s feelings and be supportive for them. To strengthen your relationship, make sure you tell them how much you love them and other positive things, which are going to make the both of you feel better. This tone of love and positive thoughts promotes a good night’s sleep and boosts your mood.
No drinks and no smoking Drinking a glass of wine is supposed to promote sleep and it helps create a romantic atmosphere. But the reality is alcohol shortens the period of restorative sleep and makes you feel cranky in the morning. Alcohol also promotes snoring, which is among the top ten causes of fights between couples. Another bad habit you should avoid is smoking in bed or right before bed. Nicotine promotes insomnia. Moreover, the smoke from the cigarettes pollutes the air in your bedroom. There is also a third reason not to smoke in bed: it is dangerous.
Get a massage A massage is going to help you and your partner bond and promotes a good night’s sleep, so give each other a massage before sleep.
Hugs and kisses Cuddling is relaxing and helps strengthen your love, so don’t go to sleep before kissing and hugging your partner. You can also try to fall asleep hugging each other, as this promotes a good relationship.
What to do about insomnia?
If you suffer from insomnia you will have trouble following all these steps, as you won’t be able to fall asleep. Here are some simple and useful tips to ease your insomnia:
– don’t drink coffee after lunch time
– don’t snack in bed or right before bed
– don’t drink too much water before going to sleep
– take a hot bath before bedtime
– let fresh air in your room
– don’t work after 9PM
– wake up early
– don’t nap during the day
– change your bedding and invest in high quality ones.